Upward Spiral! I’m officially starting up our Upward Spiral pilot project this week, besties! I’ve got ten people signed up for it, which is awesome - means we’ll have a good range of skills, perspective, strengths, and resources to support each other with. I’m sending out messages to all the people on my list to figure out a day and time that would work, but if you’re not on my list and would like to be, it’s not too late! I’m happy to run multiple groups, so there’s no limit to how many people are welcome to take part. Just comment or send me a message.
If you still don’t know what Upward Spiral is, it’s the group where we just plain solve each other’s problems and help each other become more healthy and stable in ourselves and our lives. Each person identifies goals for themselves, we figure out how to achieve them, and provide direct assistance doing it. I don’t like to boast too much, but I have spent my life doing this, I am very good at it, and I can almost certainly help you with at least one or two things.
One super important thing I want to mention up front: every single one of us needs help, every single day, and that’s a good thing. We’re social animals. We need community in order to be healthy and happy, and a big part of what community means is helping each other. I think it’s frankly dangerous to become completely self-sufficient - when we don’t depend on other people, it’s too easy to see them as obstacles, threats, or resources to be exploited. I hear a lot of talk about how everyone should take care of their own problems in our culture, and I think it’s just deeply disordered. If you honestly don’t feel you need help with anything, I honestly think you should make something in your life that you can’t deal with on your own so that you do need help. I have done and continue to do that. I want to be crystal clear to everyone - if you come to me and ask for help, I will honor your willingness to engage in the fundamental social fabric that makes and keeps us human.
Now, since we’re winding up to do this, a little more information about what it is and isn’t - always bearing in mind that this is an experimental process and subject to significant change as we go.
This is not a one-size-fits-all miracle cure. I’m not selling some zany new system by which anyone can become a millionaire etc. We all have different struggles and we all struggle differently, so we all need tailored solutions. We’re just gonna sit down and talk about where you’re at and where you want to be, and then we’re going to do our level best as regular people to figure out a path to get there together. Some things I will not have answers to. Some things no one will have answers to. But there will be some answers for everyone, and we all do better with support than we do alone.
This is not a vague feel-good endeavor. Beneath all my squishiness, my background is in statistics and experimental design. I want to identify fairly concrete problems, develop primarily material solutions, execute them, and know whether they worked. At the end of every week, we will know whether we made progress or not, and if we didn’t, we will figure out why and redesign so that progress happens next week. Whether it’s getting your house cleaned up, helping you get a job, cutting down on your food costs, identifying and eliminating wasted resources, helping you get in better physical shape, learning a language, or whatever, we’re going to approach the problem directly. That doesn’t mean we can’t address thinky/feely stuff. It’s okay if your goal is to be happy or to feel good about yourself, but we will break that down into actionable items that we can construct in observable ways. For example - wanting to have a better relationship is a very valid, meaningful goal, and we’ll work towards it by defining very clearly what elements a good relationship is composed of and then developing an actionable plan to build each element.
This is not about me or anyone else telling you what kind of person you should be or life you should have. I’m here to help you achieve your goals, whatever they may be. Please don’t be discouraged if you feel like we’re just very different people. I wouldn’t generally recommend that anyone else be like me. I think one of me is probably about 26% more than enough. I love that you’re you.
I will meet you where you are, with whatever limits you have. I do not like it when people say “I can’t help you if you won’t help yourself.” If we could help ourselves, we wouldn’t need other people to help us - and as we’ve discussed, that would be terrible. Tell me what would make it possible for you to take part, and I’ll do whatever I can to make it happen. The most common problem I’ve heard is that people don’t have time, which leads us to:
This is not another thing that will take up more of your time. This is a thing that will free up time for you. This is where we figure out how to use your time better, and how to get you help with the things you struggle with. If you come work with me for an hour a week, odds are very good you’ll wind up gaining more than an hour a week from it.
Now - you may be wondering what kind of help I can offer you. Here’s some things (and bear in mind other people in the group will probably be able to offer things I can’t, but I can’t speak for them and don’t know what they are).
Direct support. Text reminders, daily encouragement calls, help with various tasks - this is the bread and butter of Upward Spiral. I will personally help all of you to whatever extent is practical, but providing support for each other is an essential and mandatory part of the Spiral. We’ll buddy up, so everyone will have at least one person directly supporting them throughout the course of our pilot project (and hopefully beyond). I’m prepared for the possibility that I’ll have to carry the brunt of this to start with, but as we y’all doing better, I’d ask that you reinvest the time and energy we free up in supporting each other.
Group solutions. A lot of things are simply more efficient in groups, and I organize groups. As an example, food is a major expense in time and money for a lot of people, so doing group cook saves both for everyone. Alternately, maybe one or two people in the Spiral will be happy to make a ton of food for other people in it, in exchange for the other people supporting them in various ways.
Tools and resources. I have a fair amount of useful stuff. I’m guessing other people in the group do, too. Very often it turns out the thing we really need is something someone else already has.
Plain old straight up money. I’ll level with you - you’re valuable to me. But you’re a lot more valuable if you’re alive, healthy, stable, and functional. Whether you’re going to do business with me, run a farm with me, help me with CCC stuff, or just be my friend, there’s really nothing better I could invest in than you. So. If it takes a couple few hundred bucks to stop the bleeding, let’s just stop the bleeding, okay? I’m not squeamish. If later on you wind up with spare cash to put back into the Spiral, awesome. If not, that’s okay. I’m not a bank. I’m your friend who wants to help you.
Okay. So. We’ll be meeting for the first time this week, probably this weekend, and you’re invited. Our first meeting will need to run pretty tightly, so I’d like everyone to come prepared: please fill out a copy of the attached worksheet to the best of your ability so that we can go over it. We’ll be setting up our support buddy network at our first meeting: the most important thing is just figuring out what categories of support you need so that we can figure out who’s best suited to provide it.
Look forward to seeing you soon, my Commendable Constructive Collaborators! Glad to be back in good health and able to storm back out into the community once more. Upward Spiral Progress Plan Template - Google Docs